how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
