Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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