No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
