Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
