I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
