Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
