My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
