you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
