hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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