I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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