Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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