guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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