About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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