I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
