Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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