Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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