Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
