just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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