You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
