I smell stomach acid.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
