She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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