I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
