I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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