How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
