you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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