He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
