My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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