and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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