nut hugger
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
