I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
