My friends, they love my intelligence
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
