"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
