im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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