You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
