we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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