Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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