Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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