So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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