whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
