So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
