We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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