FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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