is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
