Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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