That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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