i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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