Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize