apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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