why didn't you poke me back
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize