so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
