Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
