ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i out mim tonsoeep
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
