the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
