I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i'm inner monologue high
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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