how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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