He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
