i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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