Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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