Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So many bounce houses so little time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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