Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
