I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
