My hand turned me down
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize