i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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