you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
