my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
