So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
