I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I am morally bankrupt
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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