somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is my gift to your gina
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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