In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
