There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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