I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
