I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
love makes seman taste better
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize