fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
