I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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