She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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