You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
