he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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