So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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